The soap is dirty.  What now?

They were always complaining.  Which was strange, because there wasn't actually anything wrong with their lives.

Either I have a guardian angel looking out for me, or the world is much less dangerous than I was led to believe.

Yeah, well, I don't really mind.  I didn't lose anything of value...

"I thought you liked that movie?  Why did you tell her it was awful?"

"Because I wanted her to like it, too."

If I suddenly got a million dollars, I'd give half of it to charity.  If I got $100,000 a year for the next 10 years, I'd invest half of it.  If I got $100 a day for the next 30 years, I'd spend it as fast as it came.

Donation Therapy; the act of giving to charity at a time of low self-esteem, thereby making one feel better about oneself.