The majority of people don't like what's popular.

Damn it, I did it again... wasted all night learning things when I could have been doing things!

I decided to plan ahead for things I would do later. Then I decided to do those things now instead of later.

What's different about having been born in the 21st century? Well, for one thing, I find it amazing how much I can learn about my parents' past on the internet...

Drinking doesn't keep me from being productive: drinking keeps me from being depressed about my unproductiveness!

I expect my retirement is going to be really wonderful. Until then I'm just going to sit here and get older.

Sure, I'm a great listener! My beliefs are all based on the last opinion I heard!

When I become famous I hope no one goes back and looks at my old tweets.

If you knew that a war was about to begin, what would you do?

"The only thing wrong with that song," he told me, "is that it's too short." Too right, my friend. Too right.

Don't think of it as disappointment, think of it as the new 'normal'.

She's more of a Beyonce girl... I'm more of a Numa Numa guy.

Life is so much easier if you don't look at both sides of the issues.

I'm sorry, do you have any other apples? These ones have barcodes on them.