You can't buy happiness, but you can pay unhappiness to leave you alone for a while.

The magic of it... is that you don't understand it.

If I'd known then how much more I would lose over the course of my life, that $20 in middle school wouldn't have seemed like a big deal.

He was like an Anti-Mentor... after his influence I no longer wanted to follow the path that he did.

If you ever wanted to write a book, you probably should have done it by now.

The new government environmental regulations have made major league sports illegal. The administration encourages in their place the expansion of such eco-friendly games as "Competitive Organic Agriculture", "Polar Bear Relay Swimming", and "Packing as Many People as Possible into a Volkswagon".

He was a great lover of motor sports... snowmobiles, dirt bikes, speed boats, and airplanes. And eventually the people killed him for it.

Sure, it was greed. But if everyone else was making a profit at it I can't blame you for wanting to join in.

I was going to write a 160 character text. Then I thought about the environment, and I made it only 132 characters...

Marketing. Vs. good intentions.

My 45 minute phone conversations seem to contain a remarkably similar amount of content to my 5 minute calls.

The audience is changing.