The soap is dirty.  What now?

They were always complaining.  Which was strange, because there wasn't actually anything wrong with their lives.

Either I have a guardian angel looking out for me, or the world is much less dangerous than I was led to believe.

Yeah, well, I don't really mind.  I didn't lose anything of value...

"I thought you liked that movie?  Why did you tell her it was awful?"

"Because I wanted her to like it, too."

If I suddenly got a million dollars, I'd give half of it to charity.  If I got $100,000 a year for the next 10 years, I'd invest half of it.  If I got $100 a day for the next 30 years, I'd spend it as fast as it came.

Donation Therapy; the act of giving to charity at a time of low self-esteem, thereby making one feel better about oneself.

The best thing he ever changed... was his desire to change.

Hi, welcome to the job.  I'd shake your hand, but mine's filthy...

What do you think?  Should I ask for advice or not?

If I started spending my time with more normal people, would I feel more normal or less?

Sometimes the message inside makes you reconsider eating the cookie.

The shelf was completely full of souvenirs, trophies, and snapshots... and yet life still went on.

And so she decided that the more she allowed herself to hurt others, the less she allowed herself to be hurt.  And at first it worked.

The men were criticized for failing to commit.  The women were praised for being independent and 'uncommitted'.

I liked wine, so I studied to become a connoisseur.  Now I don't like most wines.

The worst thing is that there are too many good things.  One life can but only scratch the surface of what is available.  There are too many fascinating books to dive into, therefore I don't read.  There are too many wonderful places to see, therefore I don't travel.  There are too many wonderful people to meet, therefore I never speak to anyone.

He looked lovingly toward it, his 'baby', and boasted how it was 'classic' and in such good condition.  I nodded agreeably, but I only saw a car.

Why didn't anyone ever tell me that being content was a bad thing?

I really like having a watch.  But the strange thing is, I really like not having a watch, too.

It's not the quality of the tea that matters, it's the people with whom you drink it.