It's only art if someone wants to look at it. It's only life if it's worth telling someone about.

I choose not to express myself in a witty and unique way.

Tweeted from my iPad.

There are things I've learned. And there are things I should know. And they aren't necessarily the same.

It's really hard to run up a spiral staircase.

There's a difference between prejudice and stereotype. I don't have to dislike someone to stereotype them.

Nothing says "I went to Hawaii" like a shirt that says "I went to Hawaii!"

How to get rich: capitalize on other people's desires.
How to get very rich: capitalize on their needs.
How to get filthy rich: capitalize on their misfortunes.
How to get filthy stinking rich: capitalize on their fears.